Watch how a person treats the waiting staff, watch how they treat their mother, watch how they treat the elderly and homeless. People give us signs of who they are all of the time, just watch. These simple actions become one’s character, merely because it has become a collection of conscious choices that they believe in above all else.
We all fail but it is okay
The only time we truly fail is when we don’t learn from a mistake. Then we must accept that we either like making the same mistake over and over, therein its not a mistake; it’s your habit or that we can’t let go of the past. Letting go of past “failures” is hard to do, because it is what we have come to know. We tend to focus on the things that didn’t or aren’t going right. Why is that?
One reason is that in our society we have to be great or “the next big thing”, at least that is what we’re told. We are conditioned to think that any time we mess up that we just don’t measure up to the elites of our society. Think about how many shots LeBron has missed, how many times Babe Ruth struck out or how many of Peyton Manning’s big passes fell incomplete. Those athletes were able to shake off the bad feelings, so why can we?
Before you say, “They get paid millions!” or “Its just a sport”, I would say that THEY are criticized far greater than we are by society. With that perspective it is easier to feel free about making a mistake, wouldn’t you agree? I think so. Learn from the mistakes, don’t let the mistakes define you.
You are what you are and where you are because of the choices inside of your head.
Like the examples of the athletes above WE ALL miss our “shots, throws or swings”. However, unlike those athletes some of us have developed a complex about those “failures”. We think failing a test, failing a relationship, missing a promotion or not getting the job we wanted defines us. What defines us is our attitude. Yes, it hurts finding out that someone less qualified than you got the job or even more damaging of a hurt is loving someone who is mentally abusive and stunts your growth as an individual. Some people come from families that don’t know how to show emotion or praise, because they grew up without that as well. Forgive them and forgive yourself. That is a choice to live a healthier life. It doesn’t matter if you understood that concept at 17, 29 or at the age you are now. Once you understand that it is a choice to forgive others and yourself for past “failures”, you can learn and move forward knowing that you’re mature and wiser now.
If you continue to believe the negative things that others have said, did or how you talk to yourself, then you can be assured that nothing will change.
People are like a gold mine. We are covered in dirt (mistakes/failures). Through all of it with enough motivation and persistence you will discover the gold in yourself.
It’s like being a train that is off the tracks or a car without a steering wheel. Nothing will happen without your control. If you are where you are now because of those choices, think of where you can be with the opposite choices.