Poor thinking = Rich excuses
A friend of mine inspired this piece with one of his recent statuses on Facebook. Essentially his status was talking about people complaining about not being able to obtain the things they want in their lives because their priorities were out of whack. Things like vacations, road trips, love, landing the job of their dreams, etc were always out of their reach.
To take it a step further, not only are their priorities out of whack, but their thought pattern is consumed with negativity. Think about it, if we tell ourselves over and over that we can’t have what we want, then we all ultimately devaluing our actual ability to obtain said things through our thinking.
Thinking negatively can become a habit, but so can thinking positive. Think of our thoughts as building a snowball. When you pack more snow onto it, the snowball gets bigger and bigger over time. Whether the thoughts are negative or positive, will depend on our attitude.
To illustrate this point even further let me share a story from my childhood. When I was 8 years old I had this HUGE crush on a girl a year old than me. She was so cute. She had the shiniest blonde hair and the biggest smile I had ever seen. She was the girl of my dreams…at that time. I remember writing her the sweetest letter I could mustard up the courage to write at that time. Something along the lines of “You’re soooo pretty and have the most beautiful smile! Will you be my girlfriend, please?”
I gave the letter to my buddy to give her since he was in her homeroom. All I could think about that day was how much she liked the letter and how we would live happily ever after, haha. What the hell was I thinking then, damn Disney movies! As we got on the bus to go home my buddy handed me her letter! Yeah! On cloud nine, whoop whoop!
I opened it and it read “Dear Brandon, thank you for the letter. I hate to burst your bubble though….. you’re fat and I’m pretty. Pretty girls don’t date fat boys. I don’t like fat boys because they are slow and you’re probably slow too…” DAMN, kids DO say the darnedest things. I was crushed. Unlike most of my buddies or at least I assumed, I kept that thought with me for quite sometime. My confidence toward girls was shaken ever since my bubble was burst that day on the bus ride home. I would go to approach a girl I liked and bam! My dream girl’s words would creep into my mind and my confidence would go from 12 to 6 in an instant….I just let that experience plague me from going after what I wanted. So, I just became shy and lacked much of a self-esteem towards girls, until I got to college and my personality began to grow .
I found out later in life that she ended up being a pretty miserable person all of these years later, go figure. I guess she was pretty…much a… well you know. Life has a funny way of coming back on us all when we least expect it.
Back to my point, my buddy’s post about thinking negatively. All it takes it a few negative experiences to sabotage yourself from achieving what you truly want or desire. I have another friend, who makes an excuse for EVERYTHING. We tried to date at one point, but their inability to see how great life actually is once they remove their blinders got in the way. It was too much work to convince this person that not all hope is lost. Have you ever felt like someone just enjoyed their own self pity? The excuses are never ending. Eventually you give up on a person like this, not because they aren’t a good person, but because they just drain all of your energy.
I hope this person finds the confidence to love themselves one day, so they can receive the love they want. I can only imagine what it felt like if she only dated people who took advantage of her and/or abused her mentally. It’s not on her, those people had their own problems they needed to work on. We can’t blame ourselves, when other people are broken….hurt people will always hurt other people.
How can we gain or create a winning attitude?
First, we have to re-learn to appreciate ourselves for all of our good qualities. We have to put an end to the self-hate talk that some experience all too often. It is the definition of insanity. We can’t continue to tell ourselves we aren’t good enough or we don’t deserve the best and expect different results. Yeah, I know you understand what I’m saying, but how can you start seeing your potential?
First, come to the conclusion that you will never be like someone else, you have your own identity and your own path to create. Drawing comparisons to others causes so many problems internally. You think or assume everyone’s life is better than yours…not so fast. YOU HAVE NO IDEA what others endure and you rob yourself the opportunity to grow by thinking that way.
Technology is such a beautiful thing, start by taking your smart phone or tablet and writing down things you like about yourself, write down 3 things a day that you’re grateful to have in your life, and send yourself reminders throughout the day, like “Damn, Brandon you’ve grown up to be such a stud!” Haha…pardon the cockiness. Send things like, “ I’m smart” “I’m confident” “I’ve overcome this…” and the list will go on. Eventually, your positive snowball beings to grow and grow bigger over time. Yeah, it maybe be corny, but who has to know how you choose to pick yourself up when you fall? No one! Why? Because F*ck them! What others think of us isn’t our business. Life is too short to hold a grudged or focus on what others think of you. It is like letting someone live in our head’s rent free!
Why do I write about these things? Honestly, I want others to reach their potential. I never want someone to feel the things or think the things I use to at a younger age. My writings are merely suggestions as to how you could benefit from various experiences of mine. We constantly complain that we don’t have a guide to life. That is BS, just shut up and listen and invest in others. LEARN FROM THEM TO EARN YOUR DREAMS.
Rich thinking = sky’s the limit.